Dear Mama,

Today my husband got so many compliments for wearing our sweet daughter in the baby carrier, “What a great dad!” “Look at you go!” “Champion Abba!”

I’m so glad he’s getting that recognition. What a way to cheer him on! But I wear my baby for hours every single day. At best the comments I hear sound like” What a cute baby!” Sometimes I’ll hear “Why don’t you ever put her down?”

Mama- I see you holding your baby, rocking your baby, wearing your baby. I see your back pain and your feeling touched out and the way you can’t properly make yourself lunch because the baby’s on your chest.

I see you.

Today I showed up to an event 40 minutes late. Sometimes when that happens someone makes a joke that I’m late again. Other times it’s a glance that I can’t help but feel judgment in.

They don’t realize how much time effort and energy it takes for me to get out at all. They didn’t see the diaper after dirty diaper, they didn’t need to get a jacket on a crawling baby who kept slipping away. They didn’t have a million household chores to do with a baby on their hip that were too pressing to wait.

How I wish I’d hear a “Wow, a baby at home and you made it?! Look at you go!” Or “What an amazing mom, making it all the way out here in the middle of the day!”

Sometimes you’re late too, mama. Sometimes you don’t make it at all. They might wonder why you’re never around, they might comment, but I see you. I see how hard you try to be on time. I see how you try to keep your cool when the kids are simply not cutting you a break. I see how exhausted you are before your outings even formally begin.

I see you.

You’re a constant source of nourishment, whether giving of yourself from the breast or running to make bottles. You’re a constant source of comfort in all senses, physically mentally, and emotionally. You tend to the house and clean spit-up and food and you get your hair pulled and your face scratched and all you want is a three-minute shower but it’s been four days and you just can’t find the time and…. And no one seems to notice.

I’m here to notice.

I’m here to look you in the face and say, “Wow. Mama- you’re a hero.”

Every day you do the job of a thousand, every day you give and give and give until you think you can’t give any more. You doubt yourself when you see the dirty laundry or the empty fridge, you feel you’ve failed when there’s not a clean dish in the cabinet.

But mama?

You’re doing a great job.

You’re taking on SO much responsibility, and you’re doing your best.

Try to give yourself a break today.

Look at those dishes and say, “Wow! I’m so busy taking care of my child, I haven’t even gotten to dishes. What a dedicated mother I am!”

Look into the pantry and say, “Wow. I can barely make time to buy what I need to feed myself, but not once has my child gone hungry. I’m a superhero.”

Give yourself the recognition you deserve.

Breathe. And again.

You’re doing a great job